I read lots of little signs like “Five Deadly Terms Used by a Woman” or “8 Deadly Terms Used by a Man” that detail what people really mean when they use terms that others might take at face value.
1. IT’S NOT YOU; IT’S ME: This is what a man tells you when he wants to break up with you. He is tired of you (yes tired of you) and instead of him to coming out and say it, he will tell you that he needs to work on himself. And in order to do that, he has needs to be away from you.
2. I’LL CALL YOU: This is what a man tells you after you had a date that didn’t really go his way (that is it didn’t end up in bed). Here you are thinking that he will definitely call because the date went well, right? Wrong! An advice for you, do not wait for this call. But if he finally does, refer to either #7 or #8 for what he wants.
3. I’VE BEEN BUSY: No he has not. His life has been the way it was before he met you. What he actually means stems from the term he used in #2 ergo he was never going to call you.
4. WOW, THAT’S INTERESTING: Here you are talking about something that matters to you but he has not heard a single word you said. What he really means is “Sorry, I wasn’t listening and I couldn’t care less.” What he wants now is a sex. And if it doesn’t go that way, be sure that sooner than later, he will refer to #1.
5. I’M NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP:He is telling you the truth. Yes, he has used you and now wants to dump you, so move on. But I must say, if he is really a dog, he will call again so refer to #7 or #8.
6. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT:Whatever you are asking him about and he says this, he is going to lie to you. The reason for this term is to buy him time so that he will think of a quick lie to you. He will so lie and if it means him swearing on his mother’s grave or on the heads of their unborn children, he will do it.
7. ARE YOU ALONE: This is question will only lead to one thing in his mind: a quickie. Yes and don’t think he is asking you to be sure of your security. So make sure your answer is no.
8. ARE YOU HOME: Hmmm… What a question! But it is not a question of him having you in mind. When he asks you this question, he is broke and wants to get money from you. First, he wants to borrow it but then he tells you that he is your man. If you ever ask him when he is going to pay back, please refer to #6.
These sound rather humorous sometimes, but in all honesty, what the hell are we thinking? We have this beautiful, multi-faceted language, and we waste time saying what we don’t really mean in order to deflect actually being honest.
Words have incredible power. According to some world religions, our very existence was spoken into being. Whether you agree with that faith or not, it’s not difficult to acknowledge that our forefathers of every age knew how powerful words really are, and made few bones about filling their faiths and mythology with powers emanating from the use of words.
If you love someone, tell them! Don’t hint, be honest. “I LOVE YOU!” It does not obligate them to reciprocate, and don’t deceive yourself into thinking your feelings for anyone or anything obligates them to an end beneficial to you, but honesty is such a freeing lifestyle that use your time in any other way is such a waste!
If you are with someone whom you know is not right for you, tell them! If someone has wronged you, tell them, then forgive them! Move on! If you must empty your heart, empty it, but beware your emotions. It is one thing to express your words, it is another to use them to damage.
There is certainly a balance to how to phrase your honesty, but never do so to deceive, or to avoid. Use your words, practice your words, exercise honesty always, and forever love with them!